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xiaoyunenigma · 3 years ago

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English, An Interesting Language Part 2

A/N: EGWEGKJNRGKJEN PART TWO IS HEREEEEE

UWU WE HAVE LOADS OF CHAOTICNESS IN THIS, WELCOME AND PLEASE ENJOY~

SUGGESTIVE? UH-DUHHHH!! XDXD

ONCE AGAIN I SHALL REPEAT, WE HAVE BOTH CHCH AND HEATBLADES IN THIS SHHSHSHSHSHSH

---

Three days after the…exciting commotion in the garage, Dani decided to add fuel to the fire and called EVERYONE down to the bunker.

Yes, she has found the book.

ONLY took her THREE DAYS.

Back to the story...

“GUYS, GUYS, GUYS! JUST COME DOWN ALREADY! I’VE GOT SOMETHING TO SHOW Y’ALL!!” She demanded, dragging Kade with her left arm while tugging Graham’s collar with her right. Charlie and Cody could merely sigh in relentment as the father-son duo watched the only girl in the their family SINGLE-HANDLEDLY take down two of the Burns’s sons.

“HEY, LET M-ME GO-HURKK!!”

“OW OW OW- DANI!!”

“HURRY ALONG ALREADY!!’ She huffed and dropped the two adults inside the elevator.

“Sis, you forgot the main point.” Cody gave an awkward smile, holding up a brown book for the sister to see.

“Oh, dear me! Can’t have this left behind now, can we?” she ushered them in and pressed the button, closing the elevator doors.

“And why, EXACTLY, must WE tag along? I was busy chatting with Hayley, damn it!” Kade grumbled, resorting to take a seat on the ground.

“I was solving a complicated equation and I nearly had it!!” Graham chimed in, frowning at his sister.

“Another word from the both of you and I’ll not hesitate to use MORE force.” Dani smiled sweetly sick at the two paling brothers.

Gulping, Kade and Graham nodded frantically, fearing for their lives.

Without another word, they reached the bottom and Dani came out first, leaving them behind as she called the Bots over.

“Hey guys! Care to spare a minute?” she asked, waving at her partner, Blades.

“Aww man! is it our turn to do air patrol?” Blades timidly asked, yellow optics portraying his reluctancy. “I thought we covered it…two weeks ago?”

“No, silly!” Dani giggled, making the helicopter relax a little. “I found the book!” she announced and took the book over from Cody.

“What book?” Heatwave gruffly spoke, raising an optic ridge.

“Dani, I don’t think-”

Charlie Burns kept his mouth shut when he saw the intense glare sent to his direction by the female pilot.

“What are we waiting for then? Let’s have a look!” Blades exclaimed, picking the tiny brown item up and opened a page. “Uh…okay, maybe not.” He grimaced in disgust.

“What do you mean NO?” Dani said in exasperation, snatching her belongings back.

“It’s filled with unknown phrases!”

“Blades, where have all my knowledge passed down to you gone to!?”

“What knowledge!?”

“Pop culture, genius!”

Blades made an ‘O’ shape with his dermas as he scratched his neck cables, chuckling dryly at the enraged femme.

“Do us a favour then; teach us.” Heatwave came to the rescue and saved the poor mech from a possible earful nagging. He saw the look of gratitude from Blades and felt a sense of pride within him.

“You’re welcome.” Heatwave whispered, earning a flustered smile from the copter-bot.

Eyeing the two bots suspiciously, Dani’s lips formed a knowing smile but she said nothing. Instead, she coughed out loud and drew the attention back to herself again.

“Alright, alright. Let’s start from the beginning.” She gushed. Flipping open the pages, the red-haired girl stopped onto a particular sentence and formed a smirk, confusing the bots and her family likewise.

“What?” Cody asked, seeing that his sister was staring at their father with a weird grin.

“This ain’t it, Chief.” She held back a snort.

“Wow. Really? Ha ha.” Her father replied sarcastically, not getting the joke at all. “Is that supposed to mean something?”

“OH, OH! I UNDERSTOOD THAT REFERENCE!” Blades announced loudly, slapping his knees before breaking into a larger grin. “Oh Primus! I made ANOTHER pop culture reference within a pop culture reference!? NO WAY!”

“You did and I’m proud of ya!” Dani winked and gave her partner a high five, earning a collective of groans from behind.

“Seriously? That’s ALL you had to show us?” Kade said impatiently, tapping his feet. “Welp, I’m out.” he threw both of his hands up and left the room with a huff.

“Sorry to break the band, but me and Boulders REALLY need to get some work done. See ya around, sis.” Graham politely excused himself from the group with Boulders tagging along.

“If there’s nothing else, I think I’ll go see Frankie. Bye Dani!” Cody ran off too.

“Dad…” Dani trailed off, giving her father a disheartened look.

“Perhaps we can have a continuation of this later at night, alright?” he patted his daughter’s shoulders and went up, leaving the sadden pilot alone.

“Tsk. Some wonderful family alright.” Dani tilted her head upwards, somehow not upset of her family leaving in such a hurry as she smiled at her partner.

“Uh…shouldn’t you be disappointed or something?” Blades leaned in, worried for his charge.

“Nope! Why should I?” she gave the mech a thumbs up. “Oh, by the way, you won’t mind if I borrow Heatwave for a moment, do you?”

“Why would I-”

“GREAT!!” Dani clasped her hands together before looking at the fire-truck. “Come on then!!” Sighing, he transformed and opened his door.

“Just get out from here, hurry!” Dani said giddily, buckling her seatbelts on.

“Why-”

“JUST DO IT!”

Groaning, the Rescue Bot leader obliged and drove off, leaving Blades dumbfounded alongside with a blank-faced Chase.

“Huh? That’s weird.” Blades noted, setting a servo on his helm. Chase said nothing and went to a corner, trying to process his thoughts alone.

Ever since the English lesson with Cody went downhill, Charlie has been avoiding him and it irritated the mech to no one. Heck, the aging Burns even drove the OLD police car rather than going on a patrol with him.

To put it simply, Chase is JEALOUS.

Growling, he figured it would be best to talk to the man now.

Activating his holoform, the police-bot strode upstairs with a target in mind; Charlie. Steeling his gaze, the mech-turned-human spotted his partner at the kitchen counter, sipping on his coffee in peace.

Not for long.

Waiting for the right moment, Chase dashed forward and trapped the startled man in between his arms.

“Chase!?” Chief Burns gasped, staring up to meet the mech’s eyes.

Taking away his cup of coffee, Chase narrowed his eyes and leaned in closer, minimising the space in between them.

“What a-are you doing!?” Charlie stuttered, holding his cup with both hands shakily.

“I want an answer, NOW.” Chase’s voice went down an octave at the last part as he glowered at the shuddering male. “Why did you avoid me? Why did you ditch me and used that DAMN old car which CAN’T EVEN FUNCTION PROPERLY!?” He snarled.

Blinking twice, Charlie slowly set his drink down and cupped the mech’s face. “What are you- wait…” the single father furrowed his eyes as he recollected the previous memories before raising an eyebrow at his partner.

“Don’t tell m-me…Y-You’re jealous…?” his words hit the police-bot hard and Chase snapped.

Slamming his servos onto the cupboard above them, Chase used the advantage of Charlie being stunned to grab him and brought the man into his (Charlie’s) room.

“N-NO WAIT-OOF!!!” Charlie felt the wind knocked out from his lungs as he laid on the soft bed, unable to move due to a CERTAIN mech having a death grip on both of his hands.

“How many times do I have to remind you that YOU. ARE. MINE.” Chase growled, straddling on top of Charlie. He went down and nipped the officer’s neck, eliciting soft whimpers from the man.

“Don’t you DARE take that car out without MY permission.” Chase ordered, shifting one hand to hold Charlie down while using his free servo to gently tip his head up. “I don’t like being REPLACED, sir.”

“I-I-I-”

“Ah ah ah! I am NOT quite done yet.” Chase smiled, displaying his sharp fangs for his partner to see. “We’ll call it over when I SAY SO. Understood?” he continued, enjoying the flustered look on Charlie’s face as the old Burns squirmed and struggled in his hold.

“EVERYTHING and ANYTHING you say will be held AGAINST you. With our SHARED experience, you know how I DISLIKE uncooperativeness.”

Without any further warning, Chase closed the gap.

Meanwhile, with Dani and Heatwave…

“Where are we going?!” Heatwave snapped. “I think we’ve left base pretty far enough, so spill it!” the mech said and switched off his engines, forcing Dani to tell the truth. The two were in the middle of Griffin Rock Forest with no one around them per Dani’s request.

“Okay then,” Dani leaned back and crossed her arms in front of her chest, creating an air of authority around her.

“You like Blades.”

“Yes- I MEAN -N-NO!!” Heatwave tried to backtrack, but it was too late; the damage has been done. Seeing the knowing grin on Dani’s face, the annoyed and embarrassed mech tried not to cave in.

“Maybe. A little. More average than normal. GAH- FINE!! I DO, OKAY!?” He relented.

“Good. Because if you didn’t then this would be useless for you.” Dani shrugged nonchalantly, not at all bothered of the mech’s tantrum.

“Huh?” That got Heatwave’s interest piqued. “What are you talking about?”

“Oh, nothing much. Just some…ways to get the guy you like who JUST so happens to be MY partner, AKA we share some PRETTY nice details you’d like to know.” Dani slyly remarked.

“And WHY are you helping ME?”

“Because Dad’s too dumb and Chase is too innocent, so I need ONE man to do this job properly or I’m going to go berserk with all the tension in our base!”

(Chase may seem slow in understanding human culture but he SURE AIN’T ALL PURE AND VANILLA when it comes to Chief.)

Sighing, the mech let the femme out and transformed into his biped mode, turning his attention solely to Dani.

“What do you have in mind?”

---

TIMESKIP.

The two finally arrived back at base after a hefty conversation. With an encouraging smile, Dani winked at Heatwave and went upstairs, leaving Heatwave to deal with his…crew member.

“Heatwave! What took you and Dani so long?” Blades whined; his wings drooped low to the floor. The red mech fought all of his urges to reply and kept silent, choosing to settle in a corner to ‘brood’.

The memory of Dani’s teaching replayed in his mind freshly as he tried to focus. Composing himself, the mech took a deep intake as he felt a certain air-borne mech coming closer to his side.

“Heatwave!” Blades repeated, calling after his name again. “Are you ignoring me?” he asked.

The mech in question was still silent.

“I-Is it because I-I didn’t cooperate too well on our last mission? I swear, I wanted you to hold the grappling hook, not Chase! O-Or is it because I d-didn’t report to you y-yesterday? M-Me and Dani went out and returned late night! Wait, I believe you’re mad because-” Blades’s ramblings didn’t cease; just as foretold by Dani.

“When he starts yapping off, you inch closer.” Dani explained, making tiny hand gestures.

“And then?”

“That’s when you slowly set a servo on his shoulders AND,” Dani squealed out loud. “-Give him your award-winning smile AND tell him you did a good job!”

“…” Heatwave gave the swooning lady a blank stare.

“What?”

“T-That’s it?” he muttered, not at all getting the point of this. “How’s THAT going to get Blades to…fall for me?”

“Oh, don’t worry! Just do as I say, and the rest SHOULD come naturally for you!” she gave him a thumbs up.

“UH-HELLO!? EARTH TO HEATWAVE!?”

Snapping back to reality, Heatwave shook his helm and noticed Blades was tip-toeing, leaning in close as the yellow mech tried to get his attention.

“You spaced off for a moment there. Are you still m-mad at me?” Blades twiddled his digits together and looked at the fire truck with the saddest pout he could conjure.

“The rest should come naturally for you.”

Dani’s words rang in Heatwave’s processors as he grabbed Blades by the waist and pulled him in, locking dermas with the shocked mech.

Smirking, Heatwave casted a mischievous grin onto Blades.

“I am, indeed, mad.” He began, taking a step closer and dipped his helm lower, slightly bowing down at the helicopter.

“I’m mad ABOUT you.” he whispered, sending shivers down his target’s backstruts. “Infatuated and adoration doesn’t even measure up to what I’m experiencing when I’m with you. For that, I am furious; furious at how you got me intwined in your hands.” His optics dimmed.

“Perhaps I should remind you of one IMPORTANT thing, Blades; I’M in charge HERE.”

The leader of the Rescue Bot made a mental note to thank Dani for the tip as he went ahead, his body going on by its own as if it knew what to do from the start.

“And you’re my RESPONSIBILITY.”

#ChCh #chasecharlie #chasexcharlie #charliechase #charlie burns #chief burns #chase rescuebots #heatwave rescuebots #heatwave #heatblades #rescuebots blades #blades rescue bots #fanfic #ao3 fanfic

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pcwpolwrestling · 6 years ago

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The 'Do Not Get on Her List' Edition of PCW Extreme Political TV

THIS WEEK ON EXTREME POLITICAL TV-Felcher and Felcher- Extreme Attorneys discuss how to choose the next Champion of the Political Universe -Jerrold Nadler (NY-Progressive Alliance) of the ‘Oversight’ Committee comes calling. -Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (NY-Progressive Alliance) has a ‘list.’-Mitch Thomas-American Taxpayer vs. Andrew ‘The Bureaucrat’ Riley -Blue Brand Champion ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels talks fracas with PCW Champion Stone Chism. -PCW Television and Women’s Title being brought back-#1 CONTENDER’S MATCH-PCW TITLE: Jack Fraiser vs. ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott-MAIN EVENT/NON-TITLE MATCH: PCW Champion ‘The One Man Anti-Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism vs. Jack from State Barn Insurance

================================

[ON SCREEN GRAPHIC: Blue background. The top of the Capitol Building occupies the left hand side of the television screen.

Centered in the middle of the screen: “P-SPAN. THE POLITICAL CHANNEL.”]

P-SPAN Announcer (off screen): The P-SPAN Network bring you long-form public affairs programming from the nation’s capital and are a public service of…

[ON SCREEN GRAPHIC: Logos of twenty three different cable and satellite television companies replace the Capitol Building and P-SPAN graphic.]

P-SPAN Announcer (v/o): …your television provider.

[ON SCREEN GRAPHIC: Returns to the blue background with the top of the Capitol Building occupying the left hand side of the television screen with “P-SPAN. THE POLITICAL CHANNEL.” centered in the middle of the screen.]

P-SPAN Announcer (v/o): P-SPAN. The Political Channel.

===============================

LAST WEEK ON PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV:

Champion of the Political Universe: ‘Red Solo Plastic Cup’ Ray McAvay defeats The Mononaghelian Stomper in short order. McAvay then talks with backstage reporter Blair Moise about ‘The McAvay Way’ until they’re interrupted by ‘Charlie Wrestling’ Charlie Blackwell.

Blackwell’s split from the SEC (is there anyone left?) and formed a new faction called Main Street USA with Farmer John Deere, Mike the Mechanic, and Sarah Mae Smith. Blackwell announces his intention to dethrone McAvay telling the Champion of the Political Universe “I am the now…I am the future.”

Then Professor McCarthy brings out The Ultimate Social Justice Warrior who says HE’s going to be the one who brings the title to the Progressive Alliance. USJW gets a sour welcome from the fans causing Peta from PETA to compare them to people celebrating Steve Irwin’s birthday. That goes over even worse. But the crowd gets happier when the Irwins come out and give Peta a Total Elimination.

Then it’s ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels turn. Daniels says he’s ‘not as extreme as some of the others’ and he’s the one to ‘wrestle’ the title away from Ray McAvay.

Then, Jill Berg brings out the ‘Wall Street Market Analyst with the Man Crush on ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit’ Kirk Walstreit and presents him as the one who will become the next Champion of the Political Universe because…Walstreit holds up his velvet painting of Kirk Herbstreit ‘so well.’

‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann reacts to Blackwell’s departure by admitting that the SEC needs to ‘clean house and start all over again.’ McMann tells CSPN’s Reese Anderson that he has a plan and everyone will ‘find out soon enough.’

PCW Tag Team Champions Rah and Halitosis aka The Island of Misfit Wrestlers get a huge win over the former champions Weapons of Mass Destruction (A. Tom Bomb and Hy Drogen Bomb) in a non-title match. The Red Brand sent WMD to defeat the reigning PCW Tag champions and WMD, who left PCW right the day of the D.C. Armory super show, wanted the match because of ‘unfinished business.’ But PCW Owner Dawn McGill thwarted their plan with a well time intervention to throw the match back to the champions.

PCW Champion ‘The One Man Anti-Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism catches up to and destroys the Blue Brand Champion ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels backstage in payback for Daniels’s attack on him at the D.C. Armory show.

The show ends with the Coke Brothers (financiers of the American Patriots) and George Moros (financiers of the Progressive Alliance) very unhappy with the turn of events.

==============================

PCW Extreme Political TV on P-SPAN Sunday March 3rd, 2019 Taped March 2nd at the Hulman Center Terre Haute, Indiana

Announcer:‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave‘Low Level Reporter at the New York Times Trying to Make a Name for Herself’ Colleen Crowder

==============================

The camera pans all over the Hulman Center as PCW is on the air! Fireworks go off. Spotlights move back and forth through the crowd.

Cut to ringside where ‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave stands at the broadcast table next to Colleen Crowder.

Johnny Suave: Hello everyone! This is Political Championship Wrestling!

Crowd: PCW!…PCW!…PCW!…

Johnny Suave: I am Johnny Suave. She is ‘Low Level Reporter at the New York Times Trying to Make a Name for Herself’ Colleen Crowder. Tonight we are broadcasting tonight from the Hulman Center in Terre Haute, Indiana with an exciting evening of political wrestling!

Suave reviews what went down last week. First, he talks about the four potential challengers to Champion of the Political Universe Ray McAvay: American Patriot’s ‘Wall Street Market Analyst with a Man Crush on ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit’ Kirk Walstreit and Charlie Blackwell, Progressive Alliance’s Blue Brand Champion ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels or the Ultimate Social Justice Warrior.

Crowder, who missed most of the show, gets in her takes.

Colleen Crowder: Obviously, it should be Daniels or the Ultimate Social Justice Warrior. They would be champions that would better model the correct behavior that all of us should follow.

Suave finds it funny that Crowder mentions that and talks about the comments made on Tuesday Night’s Political Shakedown show.

VIDEO: Last Tuesday Night’s Blue Brand Political Shakedown

Extreme Attorneys Felcher and Felcher are in the ring.

R Felcher complains that part of the problem is that the Champion of the Political Universe is usually determined by someone who’s ‘better’ than everyone else. He alleges this deprives wrestlers of lesser talent from becoming the champion.

Johnny Suave: Well, DUHHHH!!!

Colleen Crowder: Shhhh. He’s making a lot of sense.

D Felcher calls it discriminatory and disenfranchises wrestlers who aren’t as good as others are.

R Felcher suggests that an enlightened ‘panel’ should actually choose the champion based on who best projects the ‘right’ image that everyone should follow.

Colleen Crowder: And what’s wrong with that?

Johnny Suave: Everything. A champion should win the title on merit inside the ring and not from a panel full of bias. But on the bright side, it was better than listening to the whining about Dawn McGill all night.

Jerrold Nadler (NY-Progressive Alliance), dressed in a suit, climbs into the ring.

Jerrold Nadler: Hello, my name is Jerrold Nadler. I am part of the Executive Committee Oversight Committee.

The fans boo.

Johnny Suave: Oops. I may have spoken too soon. Nadler was also a part of Tuesday Night’s Political Shakedown and commented on CEO of the Political Universe Donald Trump’s Security initiatives.

VIDEO: Last Tuesday Night’s Blue Brand Political Shakedown

Nadler says preventing people from entering the arenas for Blue Brand, Red Brand, and PCW shows simply because they don’t have tickets is not acceptable.

Jerrold Nadler: “Any instance where families…children…were kept from entering a venue to see a Blue Brand, Red Brand and PCW show because they didn’t have ticket will be investigated to the fullest extent. I intend to hold CEO Trump and his people accountable for these heinous actions.”

Nadler notes that he would have discussed this behind closed doors with PCW CEO Dawn McGill, but her recent behavior indicated that might not be a wise idea- referencing McGill throwing Professor McCarthy through her door out of her office.

Jerrold Nadler: I noticed people lined out outside the arena tonight who couldn’t come inside because they didn’t have a ticket. I saw families with children who could not get in. Families should be allowed into the arena regardless if they don’t have tickets because they have the right to experience PCW just like anyone else. My oversight committee will make sure this happens. My oversight committee will hold Dawn McGill and PCW accountable if they don’t allow them in.

This brings out PCW Owner Dawn McGill. She’s dressed in a black halter top, black mini-skirt, and a pair of killer heels tonight.

Oh, and she’s brought her children to the show: Eva (7 years old), and twins R.K. and Gracie (3 years old) come out with their mother.

Dawn McGill: That’s a bad argument Mr. Nadler. I signed a contract with the venue and paid a fee for us to be here tonight. I make money by charging a price for people to come here to watch the show. I don’t comp tickets to ANYONE. Including you. Including people who just think they can show up at the door and walk right in. It’s not fair to those who spent their hard earned money in order to come here tonight. It’s not fair to those who do the right thing but keep getting penalized by people like you for doing the right thing.

Undaunted by McGill’s response, Nadler makes clear that now that there’s a ‘new’ Oversight committee in charge PCW won’t be getting the free ride it was getting before.

Jerrold Nadler: You’ll either do it or else you’ll answer to me and my committee and we’ll make your life miserable.

Dawn McGill (to her children): Children. You may want to look away for a second.

The children do what they’re told.

Jerrold Nadler: What? What are you-OOOOF!

McGill drives her spiked heels into Nadler’s…er…nads. He bends over to a ninety degree angle.

Dawn McGill: I don’t answer to you; you answer to us. I don’t work for you. You work for me!

Eva: Mommy?

Dawn McGill: Not yet honey.

Dawn takes a side headlock and DDT’s Nadler to the mat.

Johnny Suave: Oooh!

Dawn McGill: You work for us…not your big money financiers…not your political cronies…for us. You work for the fans.

Crowd: PCW!…PCW!…PCW!…

McGill motions to her kids and they head to the back.

Cut to Suave and Crowder at the broadcast desk.

Colleen Crowder (angry): Dawn McGill needs anger management counseling and sensitivity training!

Johnny Suave: No, Dawn McGill has zero tolerance for political bull-*BLEEP*.

Crowder tries to argue but Suave moves along. He runs down tonight’s show:-It’s the day of reckoning for the Sports Entertainment Corporation. What will Mr. McMann do?

-Number One Contender’s Match-PCW Title: ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott vs. Jack Fraiser.

-PCW Champion Stone Chism will be in action in a non-title match.

Johnny Suave: We’ll be back right after these messages.

=======================

**COMMERCIAL BREAK**

Brought to you by the Progressive Alliance:

[PCW Owner Dawn McGill watches the action on a monitor in her office.]

*KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK*

[She lifts her gaze towards the door.]

Dawn McGill: Enter.

[It’s Progressive Alliance Leaders Nancy Pelosi from California and Chuck Schumer from New York.]

Dawn McGill: Nancy. Chuck.

[Pelosi and Schumer approach her desk.]

Dawn McGill: What can I do for you?

Nancy Pelosi: Dawn, we’re here to offer you a golden opportunity.

[Dawn looks at her apprehensively.]

Dawn McGill: Golden opportunity?

Chuck Schumer: Yes. It’s time for the PCW to come home…to the Blue Brand.

[Dawn sits back in her chair.]

Dawn McGill: Come home to the Blue Brand.

Nancy Pelosi: That’s right. The Progressive Alliance is all about the little guy and the Blue Brand is the perfect place for them to be.

Dawn McGill: Really, now?

Chuck Schumer: Now, of course, your wrestlers will have to start all the way at the bottom.

Dawn McGill: At the bottom.

Nancy Pelosi: Well, we do have some wrestlers who are bankrolled by some of our big money supporters so they would obviously have to be pushed ahead of a newcomer.

Chuck Schumer: Plus, there’s the whole seniority thing that has to be taken into consideration.

Dawn McGill: That sounds intriguing…but I think I’m going to pass.

Nancy Pelosi: I see, you want us to sweeten the deal.

[Pelosi makes a hand gesture that denotes ‘sweetening the deal.’ McGill’s not sure what she’s doing. Even Schumer wonders what the hell she’s doing.]

Nancy Pelosi: Okay, we can throw in higher taxes, excessive regulations, artificial solutions to health care and wage stagnation-

Dawn McGill: Artificial solutions?

Chuck Schumer: Big government trickle down, economic mandates versus doing the hard work to formulate concrete long term solutions and promoting policies that create organic growth.

Dawn McGill: Ahh…gotcha.

[She’s not impressed.]

Dawn McGill: Guys, that’s a bad deal.

Nancy Pelosi: Ooooh…we’ve got a haggler here.

Chuck Schumer: Yes we do.

Dawn McGill: Um no. I’m not haggling.

[But yet, the haggling begins.]

Chuck Schumer: Okay…and I can’t believe I’m saying this…Miss McGill, we’ll even throw in political correctness…

Nancy Pelosi: …deep state bureaucrats and activist judges undermining the will of the people…

Chuck Schumer: …and maintaining the status quo for the Washington D.C. beltway elites to continue to prosper while middle America withers on the vine like they have for the past 25 years.

Dawn McGill: Really?

Nancy Pelosi: And last but not least…

[Former PCW CEO Barack Obama enters.]

Barack Obama: I’ll be the first one to welcome all of the bitter clingers to the Blue Brand!

[Dawn’s eyebrows raise.]

Nancy Pelosi: That’s our final offer.

[Dawn gets up from her chair.]

Dawn McGill: Um, no. If you’ll excuse me.

[She sprints for the door.]

Chuck Schumer: Oh…it’s the run out of the office and…

[Dawn slams the door behind her.]

Chuck Schumer: …shut the door in our face trick!

=======================

PCW ON THE ROADMarch 8th – United Wireless Center / Dodge City, KS March 9th – Tony’s Pizza Events Center / Salina, KS March 10th – Hartman Arena / Park City, KS March 16th – Jamestown Civic Center / Jamestown, SD March 22nd – Silverstein Eye Centers Arena / Independence, MO March 23rd – Qwest Center Omaha / Omaha, NE March 24th – Sanford Pentagon / Sioux Falls, SD March 30th – Taft Coliseum / Columbus, OH March 31st – Mayo Civic Center / Rochester, MN April 6th – Loose Cannons Unleashed PPV @ the D.C. Armory / Washington, D.C.

========================

OUTSIDE THE ARENAJohnny Suave (v/o): This just took place a couple of second ago.

A pissed off Jerrold Nadler heads back to his waiting limo. He’s got a bag of ice pressed up on his forehead and he winces as he takes a stride.

Jerrold Nadler: If PCW thought they were being oversighted before, Dawn McGill hasn’t seen oversight like the oversight she’s going to get. I’m going to show her a whole new meaning of oversight.

He gets into the limo and slams the door shut.

Cut back to Suave and Crowder at the broadcast desk.

Johnny Suave: So he’s a little upset.

Colleen Crowder: He has every right to be. Dawn McGill owes him an apology for the lack of respect she showed him.

Johnny Suave: I’m sure Dawn didn’t appreciate the lack of respect showed to her by Mr. Nabler-

Colleen Crowder: Nadler.

Johnny Suave: Yeah, whatever.

Crowder winds herself up into a fit but Suave moves on before she explodes.

Johnny Suave: If you saw last Monday’s Red Brand Political Wh-arrr show, you saw Mitch Thomas-American Taxpayer uncork this…

VIDEO: Last Monday night’s Red Brand Politico Wh-arrrr

The bell is about to ring but Mitch Thomas- American Taxpayer suddenly waves it off.

Mitch Thomas: It’s bad enough when some on the Blue Brand side basically tells you they hate you, your paycheck, and each and every day scheme of ways to take a few more bucks off the top of your paycheck. They demand your blind faith and most of all they demand your money. Basically, the message is work your ass off, shut the *BLEEP* up, and pay your *BLEEP* damn taxes. But when the Red side only plays lip service to complaints about what the ‘tax everything that moves’ folks are doing and that’s all. They don’t do a damn thing about it because they’re too busy taking care of big corporations and people who already have advantages over people like us. The Red side aren’t any better so *BLEEP* this. I’m outta here.

Colleen Crowder: In fairness, the Progressive Alliance believes everyone should work their ass off, shut the *BLEEP* up, and pay their *BLEEP* damn taxes.

Crowder adds Mitch is right about the American Patriots and completely wrong about the Progressive Alliance.

Color Suave ‘not surprised’ at the skewed analysis from Crowder.

Johnny Suave: Mitch Thomas just wants a fair and even playing field. And he ain’t going to get it at either the Red Brand or Blue Brand show.

Crowder tries to tell Suave that’s not the narrative they’re going with, but Suave has already thrown it to Kimber Marshall in the ring to introduce the first match of the show.

MATCH #1 – Mitch Thomas-American Taxpayer vs. Andrew ‘The Bureaucrat’ Riley

Mitch Thomas “American Taxpayer”HT: 5’ 10” WT: 185 / HOME: Guymon, OK FIN: Pencil Sharpener

Harvey Thomas “American Taxpayer”HT: 5”11 WT: 265 / HOME: Rowland, NC

Mitch comes out with Harvey Wilson- fellow American Taxpayer. Mitch has a microphone tells the crowd they’re happy to be back in PCW.

Mitch Thomas: PCW respects us. The Red and Blue Brand does not. And it’s my opinion that the American Patriots and Progressive Alliance definitely do not.

Andrew ‘The Bureaucrat’ Riley HT: 6′ 1″ WT: 214 / HOME: Washington, D.C. FIN: The Code Red Tape

Executive Assistant Melissa leads Riley out. He too has a microphone.

Andrew ‘The Bureaucrat’ Riley: For everything in work and in life, there’s a perfectly good process to do it. Trust the process.

Melissa nods in agreement and the two walk towards the ring.

Johnny Suave: So, it’s the classic battle between the American Taxpayer versus the Bureaucrat. Usually, the Bureaucrat comes out on top. Can Mitch Thomas change that dynamic tonight?

Colleen Crowder: Probably not. And besides, we need bureaucrats to make our country work.

Johnny Suave: Yeah, we’re going to disagree on that.

*DING-DING*

Riley starts out hot taking down Thomas with a clothesline. But resilient as ever, the American Taxpayer jumped back to his feet in no time and rushes Riley. Thomas gets a little payback with a vertical suplex DDT. Cover. One…tw- Riley kicks out. Riley leverages Thomas into the corner and traps him. He delivers an assortment of high and mid kicks, building up a rhythm while Thomas tries to escape. Melissa does her part to help. Thomas throws a few punches back. After a while, Thomas finally acts as Riley is drawing back his fist to punch. Making his move, Thomas drives his knee into the midsection. He steps away from the turnbuckle and lets Riley stumble back and then double over. Thomas follows up with a back elbow to the face that has the Bureaucrat falling back into the ropes. Thomas blindly rushes in and the two end up going over the ropes and landing on the ground to the outside.

Johnny Suave: Neither man has really taking control of the match so far.

Colleen Crowder: Riley is being a good bureaucrat. He’s letting Thomas get his shots in. But in the end, The Bureaucrat knows how to get things done. I think Riley has Thomas right where he wants him.

The referee begins the count. Riley gets to his feet. So does Thomas. The two begin elbowing one another while heading for the ring to try to get the other out of the way. Thomas charges towards him and runs right into a front kick. Riley goes up top and hits a standing shooting star press to the laid out Thomas. Riley for the win. One…two…NO! The American Taxpayer stays alive. Riley prematurely celebrates and then gets completely caught off guard with a discus elbow smash. Thomas hoists Riley into the air and drives him back to the mat with a spinebuster. But before Thomas makes the cover, Melissa grabs Riley’s arm and pulls him out of the ring. Melissa gives The Bureaucrat more instructions. Once back in the ring, Riley makes a beeline for Thomas. The two begin throwing blows until Riley’s right hand makes Thomas take a step back. Melissa jumps on the ring apron and gets the referee’s attention. Riley reaches into his trunks and discreetly pulls out a foreign object. He walks over to Thomas and flattens him with the loaded right hand.

Colleen Crowder: Told ya.

Johnny Suave: Booooooo.

Riley tosses the foreign object away and pulls Thomas back up. Melissa jumps down. The referee turns in time to see Riley drop Thomas with the Code Red Tape. Cover…One…Two…THREE.

Johnny Suave: Booooooooo!

The crowd agrees.

WINNER: Andrew ‘The Bureaucrat’ Riley @ 4:30

Colleen Crowder: Again, a good bureaucrat knows how to take care of business. That’s what Andrew Riley did.

Johnny Suave: He cheated.

Colleen Crowder: Whatever gets the job done.

Harvey Wilson snatches the foreign object off the floor and shows it to the referee. The referee is unmoved and raises Riley’s arm in victory. So Wilson wraps his fist around the foreign object and pops Riley in the schnozz.

Johnny Suave: HOLY CRAP!

Riley collapses to the mat. Wilson shrugs and drops the foreign object.

Colleen Crowder: That was totally not called for!

Johnny Suave: Oh it totally was.

Colleen Crowder: That shows a complete lack of respect for Andrew ‘The Bureaucrat’ Riley.

Johnny Suave: And now you know how the American Taxpayer feels.

Crowder sputters something as we cut backstage.

BACKSTAGE Paige McGillicutty returns as PCW’s backstage reporter. She has a very angry ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels with her.

VIDEO: Last Week’s Extreme Political TV

PCW Champion ‘The One Man Anti-Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism beats the holy hell out of Blue Brand Champion ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels backstage.

PCW officials and Blue Brand officials swarm and try to tear the two men apart.

Blair Moise: Johnny, Stone Chism jumped Kevin Daniels as the Blue Brand Champion was backstage with his entourage.

Moise explains that Chism bulldozed his way through and nailed Daniels with a right hand. Both men then started lobbing heavy shots at each other until PCW and the Blue Brand stepped in to quell the strife.

Paige doesn’t even get two words out before Daniels begins to rant about PCW Champion Stone Chism’s attack on him last week. Daniels decries Chism’s ‘cowardly’ attack. He calls PCW backstage security a complete joke.

Kevin Daniels: When someone of importance is at your small time show, you’d think security would be increased to make sure insignificant people…like Stone Chism…can’t get to you.

Daniels vows never to set foot at a PCW show ever again because of the ‘unsafe’ working conditions.

Cut back to Suave and Crowder at the broadcast desk.

Johnny Suave: So, Kevin Daniels is a little upset.

Colleen Crowder: Can you blame him? Kevin Daniels takes time out of his precious schedule to show up at a PCW show and this happens to him?

McGILL MAKES BIG ANNOUNCEMENT Short and sweet. Dawn McGill comes out to the stage.

Dawn McGill: I am pleased to announce to all you…the PCW faithful here in Terre Haute, Indiana…that we are bringing back the PCW Television Title and the PCW Women’s Title.

The crowd applauds.

McGill further explains that the Television and Women’s champions will be determined at next weekend’s shows with the finals to be held Sunday March 10th in Park City, Kansas.

Cut back to Suave and Crowder.

Johnny Suave: Well! This is big news indeed. Things are going good under Dawn McGill’s leadership.

Colleen Crowder: Dawn McGill didn’t build this. The Political Universe did. That’s why she should stay in her lane and get with the program.

Johnny Suave: No. The Political Universe had nothing to do with this. It’s been her hard work…and the blood, sweat, and tears of the wrestlers, and the fans who’ve made this work.

Crowder begins to respond but we cut to a commercial break.

=======================

PCW RANKINGS

PCW Title Champion: The One Man Anti-Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism #1 Contender: Jack Fraiser #2 Contender: ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott #3 Contender: SNAFU #4 Contender: Average Joe

PCW Women’s Title Champion: TBD#1 Contender: TBD #2 Contender: TBD #3 Contender: TBD #4 Contender: TBD

PCW Tag Team Title Champion: Island of Misfit Wrestlers: Rah and Halitosis #1 Contender: The Dork Dynasty: Leonard and Sheldon Robertson #2 Contender: The Beer Bellied Softball Playing Ninja: Hank and Tiny #3 Contender: Truckin’ Average Company: Ken Worth-American Trucker and Brad Company #4 Contender: Rough Justice: D.B. Ruff and Connor Justice

PCW Television Title Champion: TBD#1 Contender: TBD #2 Contender: TBD #3 Contender: TBD #4 Contender: TBD

=======================

VIDEO: 2/17-Extreme Political TV: Scott vs. SNAFU

Scott fireman’s carries but SNAFU slips out the back door. He whips Scott into the ropes and catches an elbow on the return. Scott springboards for the moonsault and hits it. He rolls and snatches SNAFU’s arm.

Johnny Suave: American Stars and Fujiwara Armbar!

Colleen Crowder: NOOOOO!

SNAFU’s in no man’s land and taps. Martin motions to the timekeeper.

*DING-DING-DING*

Johnny Suave: Kevin Scott taps SNAFU out!

BACKSTAGE Paige McGillicutty has ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott with her.

Paige references back to the SNAFU match two weeks ago and the comments he made concerning the Progressive Alliance’s Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez regarding stopping Amazon from placing new jobs in New York City.

…Scott can’t believe AOC is celebrating the loss of good paying jobs- especially in the city she (Ocasio-Cortez) lives. He’s sure a lot of her constituents would have benefitted greatly from the increase of jobs in the area.

Kevin Scott: But it doesn’t surprise me- it’s all about politics.

Ocasio-Cortez takes exception to the comments.

Kevin Scott: Socialism is nothing more than forced shared misery…that is, unless you’re one of the gilded few…like Bernie Sanders and his multiple houses…like you and your new digs at the Navy Yards.

The GWO stop celebrating and have their glares directed towards Scott.

Kevin Scott: Yeah, you prevented a billion dollar corporation from getting what they want. And in the process, you hurt ordinary, average Americans in your city who would have given their left nut for the high paying job that’s going to go somewhere else.

Scott mock claps which hacks off the GWO even more.

Kevin Scott (sarcastically): Well done…well done.

Kevin Scott: SNAFU was a tough opponent and Coach E.J. Flack makes him even more formidable of an opponent. As for Ms. Ocasio-Cortez and her Green World Order friends, the less said the better. I’m still convinced a lot of middle class people in New York City would have loved the jobs Amazon was bringing.

Paige changes the topic to tonight’s match with Jack Fraiser.

Kevin Scott: Jack Fraiser is another tough opponent. His Oootlander Blaire Rendell is someone you have to keep an eye on. But my focus is the same. If I win tonight, I’m the number one contender for the PCW title…check. If I then go on to defeat Stone Chism for the title…check. One step at a time.

Scott thanks Paige and heads towards the ring.

Cut back to Suave and Crowder at the broadcast desk.

Johnny Suave: ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott looking for PCW gold. Let’s send it Kimber Marshall for our next match.

MATCH #2-PCW TITLE #1 CONTENDER’S MATCH: Jack Fraiser vs. ‘American Citizen’ Kevin ScottKimber Marshall brings out the wrestlers for the next match.

*“Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue”- Toby Keith*

Kevin Scott- American Citizen– former 2 time PCW Champion and PCW Television Champion (as Starz N. Stripes). PCW’s Original ‘Rookie Sensation.’HT: 6′ 3″ WT: 250, HOME: Ottumwa, IA FIN: American Stars and Fujiawa Arm Bar

Scott comes out in his red, white, and blue wrestling tights. He acknowledges the crowd’s cheers and starts down towards the ring.

The lights go down and the video screen comes to life:

It’s 1946 in the Scottish Highlands.

On the hill of Irish na Dun, British nurse Blaire Rendell hears the tell-tale buzzing sound as she approaches the standing stones. This makes her very happy.]

Blaire Rendell (Scottish accent): Soon, I’ll be back with my true love Jamie and I will be truly happy once again in eighteenth century Scotland.

Blaire goes to the standing stones where the buzzing sound gets louder and louder. Soon she faints and falls to the ground. When she wakes up…

Blaire nearly jumps in the air when she encounters a man dressed in heavy plaid lumberjack shirt, a warm coat, and a tuque.

Blaire Rendell: Wh-who the hell are you? And where the hell am I?

Jack Fraiser: My name is Jack Fraiser. You are in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan Canada.

Blaire Rendell: Saskatoon…Saskatchewan Canada? That can’t be true. I’m supposed to be in Scotland.

[A hockey puck comes flying by just barely missing both of them.]

Blaire Rendell: What the *BLEEP*!

Jack Fraiser: Nope. This is definitely Canada.

Fraiser takes Rendell by the hand and starts down to ringside.

Jack Fraiser AGE: 24 / HT: 6”3” WT: 205 / HOME: Saskatoon, Saskatchewan FIN: Canadian National Railaway

Both men in the ring now.

Johnny Suave: Winner of the match becomes the new number one contender for the PCW Title!

Colleen Crowder: I’ll root for the Canadian guy. I love the Outlander novels.

Suave reminds Crowder that Fraiser’s valet is actually an Oootlander.

Colleen Crowder: Are you mansplaining to me again?

Johnny Suave: Never mind. The match is underway.

*DING-DING*

Fraiser has a conversation with Rendell before the match begins. Scott gets impatient and swipes at Fraiser. Finally both men are in the ring and circle cautiously. Scott shoots the leg and takes Fraiser down. Fraiser rolls away and says it’s just fine. Collar and elbow tie up. They’re even in strength, but Scott uses his experience to get a leverage advantage. Fraiser reverses into a hammerlock. Scott slips through to headlock and takeover. Fraiser gets the ropebreak and Scott lets go. Fraiser backs off and fans applaud the sportsmanship. Collar and elbow tie. Scott transitions into an arm wringer and then a snap suplex! Cover…one…two…Fraiser kicks out. Scott hits another snap suplex. Fireman’s carry. Death Valley DDT! Cover, one…two…!

Johnny Suave: A nice series of moves by Kevin Scott but Fraiser somehow kicks out!

Colleen Crowder: Jack Fraiser needs to get it in gear. Jamie Fraser wouldn’t be losing like this.

Scott keeps his focus as he drags Fraiser up. Fisherman lift…no…Fraiser lands on the other side of him. Into the ropes…roll up and over…one…two…NO!! Scott survives and hauls Fraiser up quick. Fraiser fights out of an arm bar. Scott drives a knee to the gut. Lift…vertical suplex! Cover…one…two…Fraiser gets the shoulder up. Scott drags Fraiser up again…cradle counter by Fraiser…one…two…NO! Scott escapes at the last second!

Colleen Crowder: That’s more like it! Go Jamie Fraser, go!

Johnny Suave: Um…that’s…(realizes the futility of correcting her)…yeah, never mind.

Now Fraiser in the ascendancy. Big palm strike! And another! Scott retreats. Dropkick by Fraiser. Sunset flip…cover…one…two…AGAIN, Scott gets the shoulder up!

Colleen Crowder: COUNT FASTER!

Johnny Suave: Fraiser has Scott in trouble!

Fraiser sneaks a glance at Blaire Rendell at ringside, grits his teeth, and pushes forward. Scott hits a drop toehold and drops the leg across Fraiser’s back. Scott sits down on his back to bend Fraiser’s head back but a wave of green hits the ring and dive on him.

Johnny Suave: IT’S THE GREEN WORLD ORDER!

Green World OrderValet: Peta from PETAHT: 5’ 8” WT: 123 / HOME: Los Angeles, CAGreenPeteHT: 5′ 11″ WT: 195 / HOME: Los Angeles, CA FIN: Harpoon (modified spear or gore)‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee HT: 6′ 3″ WT: 192 / HOME: New York City, NY FIN: The JuicerPeaceNick–HT: 5′ 10″ WT: 180 / HOME: Bremerton, WA FIN: Choroform

Peta, GreenPete and Lee triple up on Scott. PeaceNick does not take part in the violence- he actually walks around the ring with a sign decrying the inherent violence in PCW.

Also at ringside, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. She’s cheering on the GWO’s attack on Scott.

Colleen Crowder: Kevin Scott had it coming. The message here? Don’t mess with AOC!

The referee calls for the bell.

Johnny Suave: Annnnnnnd?

WINNER BY DISQUALIFICATION/NEW #1 CONTENDER FOR THE PCW TITLE: ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott @ 4:57

Colleen Crowder (shocked): WHAT?

Close up on Jack Fraiser. He can’t believe he’s just been disqualified.

Johnny Suave: In a classic case of losing the battle but winning the war. Kevin Scott is the NEW number one contender for the PCW title!

Fraiser and his Oootlander Blaire Rendell climb back into the ring and attack the GWO.

Colleen Crowder: WHAT ARE THEY DOING?

Johnny Suave: The GWO just cost Fraiser a shot at the PCW title! I’d be pissed too.

Colleen Crowder: Sorry Jack! Sometimes you have to make a sacrifice for the greater good!

Johnny Suave: The GWO had no right to make that call at Jack Fraiser’s expense.

Professor McCarthy comes out to the stage directs the rest of his Flock to attack Jack Fraiser and his Oootlander. Professor McCarthy’s Flock (GWO, The Young Jerks: Zenk Cryger, James Idahola, and their screechy, profane valet Anna, Codee Pink, Emily S. List) jump Fraiser and Rendell.

Johnny Suave: IT’S NOW NINE AGAINST THREE!

Colleen Crowder: That’ll teach them a valuable lesson.

Professor McCarthy climbs into the ring. Fraiser and Rendell are laid out on the floor. Codee Pink glitter bombs Scott and he’s blinded. The Flock are now pummeling the living hell out of Scott.

Professor McCarthy: Again, if you’re not with us- you’re against us. If you don’t say what we want you to say- we will shout you down. If you don’t believe what we want you to believe- we will shut you down. If you don’t conform to the politically correct things listed in this book- we will destroy you.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez: Or I’ll put you on my list!

Professor McCarthy: Or she’ll put you on her list.

Johnny Suave: List? What list?

Ocasio-Cortez gets on the microphone in the ring.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez: I am putting everyone at PCW on notice. Anyone who doesn’t agree with me and who doesn’t support my views…

AOC holds up a clipboard with notebook paper and a pen attached to it.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez: …I am putting your name on this list!

Johnny Suave (voiceover): Wait a sec? Wasn’t this done before?

Colleen Crowder (v/o): What?

Johnny Suave (v/o): I could swear that this is been done before.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez: So you all had better get with the program. We are in charge now and-

Air raid sirens start going off.

Johnny Suave: WAIT A MINUTE!

Crowder becomes confused.

’Hit Me Like a Bomb’- Third Day

The youngest sister of the Bomb family, Ensen DeAirey-Bomb aka…I-Bomb comes out pulling a wagon with the life size wooden statue of General George S. Patton carved out a hickory tree inside.

Johnny Suave: HOLY CRAP!…It’s the NEW Advocates of the American Military Complex!

Weapons of Mass Destruction II MGR: Ensen DeAirey-Bomb aka…I-BombHT: 5’ 6” WT: 112 / HOME: Alamogordo, NM / FIN: Incendiary Powerbomb Newt Tron Bomb…N-BombHT: 5’ 11” WT: 190 / HOME: Alamogordo, NM / FIN: Silent, But DeadlyFrank Bomb aka…F-Bomb HT: 6’ 2” WT: 200 / HOME: Alamogordo, NM / FIN: F BombSUBGROUP: General George S. Patton (Deceased)

AOC hides behind Professor McCarthy.

Codee Pink charges WMD. I-Bomb kicks her in the gut. Spin. Lift. Incendiary Powerbomb on the floor.

Emily S. List. Kick. Spin. Lift. Incendiary Powerbomb.

Cryger charges F-Bomb. Kick. Spin. Lift. F Bomb.

Idahola charges F-Bomb- kick. Spin. Lift. F-Bomb.

Brock Cole Lee- kick. Spin. Lift. F-Bomb.

GreenPete- kick. Spin. Lift. F-Bomb.

Peta? She hides behind PeaceNick. PeaceNick edges towards the ropes planning his escape.

Newt Tron Bomb then climbs onto the apron and up on the turnbuckle. He turns and faces the crowd. Then he crouches and points his butt towards Professor McCarthy, AOC, PeaceNick, and Peta.

Colleen Crowder: What is he doing?

People in the front rows frantically put gas masks over their faces.

Frank Bomb and Ensen DeAirey-Bomb put on gas masks.

Colleen Crowder: Okay, why is everyone putting gas masks on?

Johnny Suave: Think Halitosis’s breath with a larger blast radius.

Colleen Crowder: Huh? What?

Too late. Suddenly, Professor McCarthy clutches his throat and tries to cover his nose.

Johnny Suave: SILENT BUT DEADLY! SILENT BUT DEADLY! (out of the side of his mouth) Oh…geez. What the hell did he eat earlier?

Colleen Crowder: What? (Then she gets it) Ohhhhhhh……..(THUMP)

Crowder’s head lands on the broadcast desk.

McCarthy, AOC, PeaceNick, Peta- all down and out.

Several people in close proximity to the ring not wearing gas masks- down and out.

Johnny Suave: Newt Tron Bomb clears the ring…(Suave checks on Crowder- she’s down and out)…and our broadcast desk. I’m sure he, F-Bomb, and I-Bomb will now make Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s list of deplorables.

Newt then gets on the microphone. N-Bomb says they’ve been sent to PCW for a purpose.

Newt Tron Bomb: Last week, Dawn McGill cost our brothers a match. We are here for payback for the best tag team that’s ever graced a PCW ring. We are also here to make sure that the Advocates of the American Military Complex continue to have a strong presence in PCW.

Johnny Suave: Oh, they’ve had a ‘strong’ presence here all right.

N-Bomb warns the Island of Misfit Wrestlers…Rah and Halitosis…their days as PCW Tag Team champions are limited.

N-Bomb drops the mic and WMD head to the back.

The PCW clean-up crew head to ringside to revive a few people.

Johnny Suave: While they get the ring cleaned out, we’ll be back after these messages.

=======================

**COMMERCIAL BREAK**

Brought to you by the American Patriots:

[PCW Owner Dawn McGill watches the action on a monitor in her office.]

*KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK*

[She warily gazes at the door. She knows who’s there.]

Dawn McGill: Come in.

[It’s American Patriot Leaders Kevin McCarthy from California and Mitch McConnell from Kentucky.]

Dawn McGill: Kevin. Mitch. What a surprise.

[McCarthy and McConnell approach her desk.]

Dawn McGill: What do you have on your mind?

Kevin McCarthy: Dawn, we’re here to offer you a golden opportunity.

[Dawn knew that already but she humored the pair.]

Dawn McGill: Golden opportunity, you say?

Mitch McConnell: Yes. PCW should come home…to the Red Brand.

[Dawn sits back in her chair.]

Dawn McGill: Come home to the Red Brand.

Kevin McCarthy: That’s right. The American Patriots are the faction of Abraham Lincoln. The Red Brand is the perfect place for you to be.

Dawn McGill: I see. And where would our wrestlers start?

Mitch McConnell: Of course, your wrestlers will have to start at entry level.

Dawn McGill: Entry level?

Mitch McConnell: The pay isn’t great but it’s better than it used to be.

Kevin McCarthy: And we also have some wrestlers who are bankrolled by some of our big corporate supporters. They would have to be pushed ahead of all the newcomers.

Dawn McGill: I’ve heard that.

Mitch McConnell: Plus, there’s the whole corporate branding of the characters that would have to be done.

Dawn McGill: Well, as much as that sounds intriguing (turns facetious)…and it does…I think I’m going to pass.

Kevin McCarthy: I see, you want us to sweeten the deal.

[McCarthy makes a hand gesture that denotes ‘sweetening the deal.’ McGill’s knows what he’s doing and wonders why the hell he’s doing it.]

Kevin McCarthy: Okay, we can throw in advocating lower taxes without demanding reduced spending, laissez faire regulations that favor corporations, health care and wages that again favor big business at the expense of ordinary workers.

Mitch McConnell: Let’s not forget big business trickle down economic policies that also favor large employers and leave middle America behind.

Dawn McGill: Ahh…gotcha.

[Yeah she’s not impressed with them either.]

Dawn McGill: Guys, that’s a really bad deal.

Kevin McCarthy: Ooooh…we’ve got a negotiator here.

Dawn McGill: Um no. I’m not negotiating.

[But yet, the negotiating begins.]

Mitch McConnell: Okay…and I can’t believe I’m saying this…Miss McGill, we’ll even throw in a half assed promise to root out deep state bureaucrats and keep out activist judges who undermine legislate from the bench and thwart the will of the people…

Kevin McCarthy: …while maintaining the status quo for the Washington D.C. beltway elites to continue to prosper while middle America withers on the vine like they have for the past 25 years.

Dawn McGill: Really?

[Dawn’s eyebrows raise.]

Kevin McCarthy: That’s our final offer.

[Dawn’s cell phone rings.]

Dawn McGill: Um, no. If you’ll excuse me.

[She answers her phone.]

Dawn McGill: Hello?

[Dawn becomes alarmed.]

Dawn McGill: WHAT? (pause) I’ll be right there.

(She ends the call.)

Dawn McGill: Sorry guys…duty calls.

[Dawn sprints out of the office and slams the door behind her.]

Kevin McCarthy: Ah, the old pretend an emergency has come up and shut the door in our face trick!

=======================

========================

Cut back to Suave at the broadcast desk.

Suave informs everyone that the ring’s been cleared and everyone’s okay.

Johnny Suave: Without further ado, let’s go to Kimber Marshall in the ring for our main event.

MAIN EVENT/NON-TITLE MATCH: PCW Champion ‘The One Man Anti-Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism vs. Jack from State Barn Insurance Kimber introduces Jack from State Barn Insurance who’s already in the ring dressed in his bright red polo shirt and khaki pants.

Then…

*‘No Smoke Without a Fire’ – Bad Company*

Johnny Suave: Here comes the PCW Champion!

‘The One Man Anti-Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism–former PCW Champion and 2 time PCW Television ChampionHT: 6′ 2″ WT: 225 / HOME: Hollywood, CA FIN: Anti-Hollywood Blockbuster

Chism comes out to the stage holding up the PCW Title belt.

Johnny Suave: So, with Kevin Scott’s win earlier tonight, the Chism vs. Scott showdown for the title is definitely in the horizon.

Chism decides to talk first before going to the ring. He says Stone Chism is the PCW champion in spite of all the Hollywood folks no longer supporting him! He gets that the Progressive Alliance wanted Chism to lose to ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels…so to put the icing on the cake, to get rid of all the doubt, and to stick to them again- Chism defeated Daniels, again.

Stone Chism: The Progressive Alliance probably has it in their minds that I can’t beat their big wrestlers…the Ultimate Social Justice Warrior, The Massachusetts Bluebloods Jay F. Kennedy and Ray F. Kennedy, or Bobby Dahlman. I’m sure the American Patriots think Kirk Walstreit, Charlie Blackwell, or even Magnum PO’d can beat me. And now, here in PCW it’s Kevin Scott who thinks he can beat me. Kevin Scott is good. Kevin Scott is really good.

Chism shrugs. Chism says Scott’s wrong and they’re all wrong- he can beat them all and he’s going to prove it starting tonight with Jack- from State Barn Insurance. Chism drops the mic and raises the title. Then he starts walking towards the ring.

Then out of nowhere, three men hit the ring and blow up Jack from State Barn Insurance.

Confused, Chism stops in his tracks and looks around.

Johnny Suave: What the hell? Who are those three men?

Suave realizes who they’re wrestling for when Phil Finebaum and then ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann come out.

McMann takes the microphone.

Mr. McMann: Ladies and gentlemen of PCW. The house has been swept. New blood has been brought in. Please welcome the new and improved Sports Entertainment Coalition.

Sports Entertainment Coalition‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson “The 330 Pound Southern Brawler”AGE: 37 / HT: 6′ 1″ WT: 330 / HOME: Troy, AL FIN: High Crossbody into a Powerbomb‘Dastardly’ Dave MillerAGE: 28 / HT: 6’ 0” WT: 240 / HOME: Columbus, GA FIN: Southern Cross‘Dangerous’ Dan WilliamsAGE: 42 / HT: 6’ 2” WT: 252 / HOME: Wemberly, TX FIN: Devil’s Triangle (Triangle Choke)

McMann states Dickinson is gunning for the PCW title. Miller and Williams have their eye on the tag belts. He has a special message for Jill Berg Enterprises, though.

Mr. McMann: I haven’t forgotten about you. I haven’t forgotten about Charlie Blackwell either. But right now, you all seem to have forgotten the fact that the SEC is the pre-eminent faction in PCW.

Phil Finebaum: My faction is better than your faction and the SEC is the best of the best. That’s why Dickinson, Miller, and Williams were brought in. That’s why soon, the SEC will control the two biggest belts in PCW.

Male Voice: And I certainly haven’t forgotten about you.

Suave is shocked at who he sees.

Johnny Suave: HOLY CRAP! HE’S BACK!

William Daniels Bryan– ‘The Prairie Populist’-3 time PCW Champion. Former PCW Television Champion HT: 5’10″ WT: 180, HOME: Platte, Nebraska FIN: Cattle Mutilation/Crane Kick

Johnny Suave: William Daniels Bryan has been out since mid-October of 2018. That’s when the Antifa broke his leg at a house show in Rolla, Missouri and put him out of commission.

Suave adds that no one has seen or heard anything from Bryan in a few weeks.

Johnny Suave: We knew he was working hard to get back. He looks fantastic.

On the stage, Bryan looks tanned and rested.

Johnny Suave: The title race may have just been turned completely upside down with the addition of ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson and the return of William Daniels Bryan to the mix. We are out of time. That’s all for tonight’s show. I’m Johnny Suave. See you next week.

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